Bean Party Rises to Meet Challengers, Announces Executive Candidates

bean party exec finalThe Bean Party, which advocates for the rights of humans and other beans, announced their executive slate for April’s ASUC elections just minutes shy of the Friday deadline. A source within the party, who preferred to remain anonymous, attributed the delay to the organization’s inability to decide on a vice presidential nominee.

Leading this year’s campaign is third year human Allie Gordon. One of two current Bean Party representatives on the senate, Gordon studies political economy with minor in pumpkin policy. In her year as senator, she has tenaciously fought for species equality on campus through several policy initiatives, including the hotly debated campaign to plant more shady trees for Broccoli’s human minority. Despite a growing support base and her skill as an orator, Gordon has faced endless challenges with a Purophyll majority in the senate and a vegetable at the helm.

“Even though we represent over a quarter of the student population, humans and other beans are treated like second class citizens at UC Broccoli. We must provide safe spaces for these underrepresented minorities. We’re all here for the same reason: to receive a top-quality vegetable education. It is unconscionable for us to continue this cycle of abuse, and I ask for your vote in this election to put an end to it,” spoke Gordon at her announcement earlier tonight.

Joining her as running mate is Nigel Zhang, a bundle of Chinese long beans from Ukiah, California. A newcomer to the political scene, Nigel is set to replace green bean Hortense Delacroix on the ticket. We attempted to reach out to Hortense to learn more about the conditions of her resignation but she declined to comment.

What Nigel lacks in experience he more than makes up in verve. When asked about the recently announced Purophyll candidates, Zhang responded, “The Broccoli I know doesn’t respond well to hate speech, and I sure as hell don’t see that changing during election season. The people, legumes, and vegetables of this institution deserve leadership that prioritizes real issues. Issues like the housing crisis, resources for students with disabilities, and a better health plan.”

Though they have only just begun working together, Gordon already had plenty of nice things to say about Zhang. “He’s a hard worker and a sharp guy. When we win this election, he’ll have my full support in the next one.”

The Bean Party is the third and final party announcing executive candidates for this year’s election. In the coming week, each party is expected to release their senate slate.

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