Purophyll Party Releases Executive Candidates

purophyll executive slate smaller

The campus political group known as the Purophyll Party announced Friday their candidates for the positions of President and Vice President in the upcoming ASUC elections in April. Their party motto,  “Manducare Lux Ergo Supero,” reflects the general party attitude that as a vegetable institution, UC Broccoli should put its vegetable students first.

The Purophyll Party’s presidential candidate is Madison Figueroa, a familiar face to all who have followed campus politics over the past few years. A stalk of rhubarb in her third year, Madison is ready to apply her experience as an ASUC senator to an executive role. In her two year career in student government thus far, Madison has been a staunch advocate for students in the Leek system and led the charge against last year’s tree-planting campaign.

“Humans only make up 24% of Broccoli’s student body, but the university wants to direct public seeds to planting trees to give them shade. Meanwhile, there’s already barely enough sunlight for the majority of us who need it,” said Figueroa in a speech at the Purophyll Party convention earlier this month.

Figueroa’s stance on vegetable issues won her popular support in elections last year and the year before.

DSC_9131 (Priime Silverlake)
Figueroa lounging on Memorial Glade with sisters from her sorority, ΡΒΒ (Rho Beta Beta)

We were asked by a member of her campaign staff to release the following statement:

“Dear Voters: I’m sure most of you know who I am, but for those of you who haven’t had the pleasure of meeting me, my name is Madison and I’m honored to be running for president of the ASUC. I’m a proud American, Vegetable, Rho Beta Beta sister, and Broccoli student in that order and I’m beyond thrilled to bring strong vegetable values to our student government.”

Figueroa’s running mate is her long time beau, third year leek Chad Winterbottom. Like Figueroa, Winterbottom has been involved in student government since his sophomore year; together they form quite the political power couple. “Madison and I love student government. In fact, our first date was voting for the ASUC elections in freshman year. Happy almost anniversary, by the way,” said Winterbottom, smiling at Figueroa before leaning in for what might generously be described as a kiss but would more accurately be described as awkward leaf rubbing.

Critics of Winterbottom often point to his “Yes-man” attitude and his tendency to vote with Figueroa on campus issues.

The Purophyll platform centers on improving conditions for vegetables on campus and providing more funding for the Leek system and student organizations. “Classes are great,” explains Figueroa, “but the Leek system is where real learning and sisterhood occur.”

The Purophyll Party is the second to announce their executive slate this year. Updates on the senatorial race as well as news from the Bean Party and Harmony Party are forthcoming.

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