Response to the Human Snowflake

By Allie Gordon, Class of 2018

In a recent Daily Kale article, a fellow UC Broccoli student known only as “slabbster” analyzes what he refers to as “the human snowflake.” Slabbster uncreatively uses this term, which has been popular among the conservative vegetable right in recent times, to accuse humans of moral superiority and hypersensitivity. He argues that we are incapable of engaging in fruitful dialogue, categorizing us as raging, aggressive radicals, and ultimately offers this tidbit of advice: grow up.

Yet, Slabbster’s rhetoric is just as whiny, exclusionary, and unproductive as he accuses us humans of being. Referring to humans as “snowflakes” as an insult is simply the radical vegetablist movement’s way of avoiding actual political action and discussion on critical issues, here at UC Broccoli and around the world.  

Name-calling gets us nowhere; rather, this harping on the “human snowflake” is really a way to avoid having common species dignity and respect. This is unacceptable. When Slabbster complains about the snowflake, what he’s really saying is “I feel uncomfortable acknowledging species that are different and might have different experiences from me, particularly when it highlights my own privilege, so I’m going to criticize those who speak out about it to try and make it go away to protect my own precious ego.”  Who sounds like a “snowflake” now?

As a human at UC Broccoli, I have seen and experienced the indisputable injustices that we face. I know about the housing crisis, the lack of representation, the appalling lack of human-friendly options in the cafeterias. I know of the unconscionable high risk of violence against humans and other minorities, fear it every day. There are constant, innumerable humiliations and challenges we humans face on a day-to-day basis when attending a campus that does not seem to want us here.

I see and I know these these things, and yes, I am offended. I should be offended. Being offended by the objectively offensive is not a bad thing. More than that, I look at my fellow human activists and see that being offended leads to positive change. Change that the Bean Party has succeeded at in the ASUC, striving making UC Broccoli a safer, accessible place for all species. Change that will no quit, in spite of massive inequalities and challenges that face us as minorities.

If after all this, you still want to call us minorities “snowflakes,” then fine. We snowflakes make up over a quarter of the student population here at UC Broccoli, and we cannot be silenced. Contrary to Slabbster’s beliefs, we will not “melt”– together, we will become an avalanche, a blizzard, and we will not stop until we have the rights and respect we deserve.

Ignore us if you’d like, but consider yourself warned. Winter is coming.

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