Trouble in Paradise: Purophyll candidate spotted with human girl

Interspecies tensions reached an all time high at UC Broccoli Saturday when compromising photos circulated of ASUC Vice Presidential candidate Chad Winterbottom with human freshman Roya Greene.

roya chad (Priime Bouquet)

Winterbottom is the Purophyll Party’s vice presidential candidate for the upcoming ASUC elections Monday. His running mate, Madison Figueroa, is a rhubarb and his long time girlfriend. Figueroa and Greene are sorority sisters.

The Purophyll Party centers on what many have called vegetable supremacist values. Supporters of the party say this photo is evidence that he is betraying the Purophyll movement in addition to his girlfriend. Needless to say, party members worry this photo will affect the results of Monday’s election. A source within the party who chose to remain anonymous had the following to say:

“People must realize this is a doctored photo and an insult to our party and our ideals. Chad is and has always been a loyal party member and he would never stoop so low as to consort with a human. We are getting to the bottom of this — we fully intend to discover who is responsible.”

The Daily Kale reached out to Winterbottom and Greene for comment but were unable to get a statement from either.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s